Griffin has a child by another woman.
I am sleepless and restless tonight. Full of unanswered questions. Wondering what exactly it is I feel right now about this child. What I feel about all of this. How did we let this all happen to us?
I want to love the boy. I do.
I am a kind person and love children.
This child represents for me a great heartbreak, and he is that for Griffin as well.
This causes him to feel a bit ambivalent about it all.
We both struggle with this issue. The only thing he can do is to give what he can ,and love the boy in spite of his harpie mother. In spite of feeling he is a mistake. In spite of all that happened in the past.
He is the innocent here. That is an important fact we both have to remember when dealing with this issue. Children usually are the innocent ones in bad situations. We adults are usually the ones to blame.
As parents we can only do our best and try not to inflict any damage. Like the code for physicians.
" First Do No Harm "
Good advice for parents as well.
So we take this one day at a time like we do all the rest of this situation we find ourselves in.
We don't really have a choice.
Sweetheart,
ReplyDeleteI know we've talked about this issue for a number of years now. Some days seem to feel like we make great leaps in healing the old wounds. Some days feel like the same old wall. I feel that this is not going to be an easy issue for either of us, because of the very nature of it. We both have very conflicted and ambivalent feelings about this, we both share the same feelings about this in so many ways. I appreciate you being there for me when I need someone to talk to about these painful memories. Know that I will always be here for you as well. I love you and am going to bed now. It's almost midnight here, and the little guy just fell asleep within the last 20 minutes or so. Goodnight, my darling.
-Griffin